Bats in the Belfry, Bells in the Attic

Bats in the Belfry... cover

Available for purchase in trade paperback, Kindle, and Nook.

"These vignettes, of ordinary lives, glimpsed through the eyes of unforgettable, often quirky characters probe the complexity of what it is to be human, while giving an extraordinary and entertaining read. The stories range from a twin sister's bus ride encounter, to a 10 year old girl's diary, shifting gears to explore the mind of a pregnant schizophrenic trying to escape her past and present, to my very favorite, Ms. Collette, which could easily outshine any Twilight Zone or Outer Limits.

"...each (story) has a common thread lacing through them - Why are we here? Or more aptly - Where are we going? At times, many of his eccentric characters appear to have a momentary glimpse of the answer, but inevitably, their humanness pushes any potential revelations further away from their grasp...Few writers could tackle such a complex theme and pull it off so completely, time after time in an amazingly entertaining fashion." -- Sally Kale WordBeats, Word Museum's Reviewer

"...true delight...stories range from surrealistic to comedic to downright spooky...Each story is penned to amuse, titillate and/or cause some degree of reaction or manner of thought from the reader, an endeavor in which he admirable succeeds. His narrative ranges from biting wit to droll to thought provoking, providing something for everyone and every taste with this latest offering." - Denise M. Clark, Denise's Pieces Author Site & Book Reviews densieclark.com

"...sixteen wildly different stories that will at times leave the reader amused, worried, sad, confused, intrigued and much more...fabulous characters and memorable stories that are a pleasure to read..." - Heidi, Fallen Angel Reviews

Excerpt

SEANCE CHAT@LIVINGDEAD.COM

From: Sigourney@alien.com
Ken, how did you get in the apartment?

From: Louie@down.com
AM, what are the chances or renewing membership? Let's talk.

From: Ken@bogeyman.com
Sigourney, I broke down the door.

From: Adolf@hot.com
Anybody know how to delete URL's?

From: Lola@sex.com
Anybody need a date?

From: Sigourney@alien.com
Ken, why, you had a key?

From: Joe@$$forkiss.com
Lola, I do.

From: Gertrude@stein.com
All of you, if this conversation doesn't get any better better better fast, I'm logging off.

From: AM@up.com
AM is okey dokey.

From: Ken@bogeyman.com
Sigourney, I wanted to make a statement. Every since you brought me home, gave me this stupid Ken name, you've been promising to take me out to dinner.

From: Ben@franklin.com
Hey Gertrude, stick it.

From: Lola@sex.com
Joe, how much?

From: Vincent@price.com
Help, I'm trapped in an eggroll!

From: Joe@$$forkiss.com
Lola, before we talk bucks, what do you look like?

From: LarryF@hustler.com
I have a great idea for a TV sitcom, it takes place in a men's locker room with a peep hole into the lady's . . . I can't give away the plot, but it would be live from behind the scenes, three hours, prime time, anybody want to write it?

From: Bill@zsu.com
I need a synopsis (English Lit) on The Brother's Karamozzz (spelling) by that Russian guy.

From: Lola@sex.com
Joe, I have long blond hair and blue eyes, am five foot two, 22-30-40

From: Peg@bitch.com
Why couldn't it have been the Sister's Karamozzz?

From: Gertrude@stein.com
Franklin, be that way, and to all of you, I'm going no mail forever ever ever ever.

From: AM@up.com
AM is okey dokey.

From: FScott@fitz.com
Larry, what will you pay if I write it?

From: Allen@funt.com
Larry F., I think you stole my idea.

From: Kathy@bleed.com
Sigourney, why did you lock the door on Ken? And why don't you take him to dinner?

From: Pete@guy.com
Joe, re: Lola--little tits, big ass.

From: GeorgeW@mtvernon.com
Adolf, you can get a delete URL's download at http\\history.kill.dada.com for twenty me's, get it?

From: Ed@sullivan.com
Bill, I had the Flying Karamazovs Brothers on my shew, they're jugglers, hope that helps.

From: Vincent@price.com
Help, I'm trapped in a fortune cookie!

From: Rod@serling.com
Everybody is stealing my ideas!

From: LarryF@hustler.org
FScott, what do you mean, pay?

From: Anton@chekov.com
Rod/Larry, the peep hole is my idea, read my story, "On The Sea," and relax.

From: Sigourney@alien.com
Kathy, buzz off, it's none of your business.

From: Michael@wingsgolden/gate.com
Adolf, why do you want to delete your URL's?

From: Sally@less.com
Joe, I do what Lola does for free.

From: Vincent@price.com
Help, I'm trapped in a bottle of Kikkoman soy sauce!

From: Peggy@bitch.com
I still want to know why it has to be Brother's Karazozz, aaand who the hell is AM?

From: Sigourney@alien.com
Ken, I don't think I want to see you anymore.

From: AM@up.com
AM is okey dokey.

From: Harry@houdini/\\/.rosabelle.com
Vincent, one, two, three and there is a way to get out. Buy handcuffs on tomorrow nights' PBS antique show. P.S. Interested to know how you got the computer in the soy sauce jar with you.

From: Ken@bogeyman.com
Sigourney, does this mean you don't love me anymore?

From: Peggy@bitch.com
Ken, awwwwwww, poor thing.

From: Bess@spousehoudini.com
Harry, where are you?

From: AM@up.com
Repeat, AM is okey dokey.

From: Sigourney@alien.com
Ken, yes and I get to keep the lap top, cell phone, and Oreck vacuum cleaner. You can have Tammi Fay, the cookies, and your rubber doll. As to you Pegs baby, get screwed.

From: Harry@Truman.com
Vincent, all you need now is a Little Boy, Enola Gay, and a Nagasaki. Hee hee hee.

From: Mao@greatwall.com
AM, are you Who from Hunan?

From: Yoko@Hiroshima.com
Harry@Truman babes, waa go 'wound come 'wound.

From: Lucy@producerhollywood.com
Bill, The Brother's Karamazov is a movie staring Bruce Willis and Danny DeVito. Bruce owns a bagel factory in Iraq funded by the CIA. Danny delivers.

From: AM@up.com
Why is everybody ignoring me?

From: Louie@down.com
Because you're dead, now shut up.

From: Peggy@bitch.com
What has no top and three bottoms? Hint, rhymes with hola and starts with L. As to you Sigourney, eat it!

From: Ernest@hem/bigfish.com
All you guys need a good shit detector. And you, Bill@zsu, the Russian guy is Fedor Dostoevski. The story is The Brother's Karamazov. In a nutshell it's about God being dead and, if He is, everything is history so you can go pig out and muck anybody who gets in your way. That's free. I'm not buying it so I'm logging off and going to go dig up Adam, kick his dumper then have a raw turtle egg breakfast with pickled herring and lots of yellow creamery butter. Then I'm going to go kick Lucifer's dumper, pick up Eve and we're going to grab as many big red apples as we please, eat them, then jump in the rack for a week. After that I'm going to sit down and rewrite the whole mucking thing.

Note: Next session TBA.